Right now, you want nothing more than to master how to have anal sex, so you can do something unholy with yourself or your partner. And it’s not your fault. Anal sex is somehow more capable of handing out sweet orgasms on a platter of cum, than other forms of sex

As Punch reports, 28.5% of British women between 16 and 24 have had anal sex at least once. Meanwhile, 30 to 44% of American adults have participated in anal sex. Now, it’s your turn. 

What Is Anal Sex?

Anal sex is sex through the anus. Everyone who’s tried anal sex has had reactions unique to them, ranging from initial pain to absolute bliss. 

How anal sex feels for you depends on the size and length of your partner’s penis or the penetrating object, how lubricated your anus is, and many other factors, like preparation. 

How to have anal sex
Vibrator for relaxation and pleasure / Image Source: iStock

If you want to learn how to prepare for anal sex, we suggest reading this article. 

In the meantime, we’re digging up some of the best descriptions of anal sex from those who’ve been through the backdoor. Enjoy! 

Somewhat Painful at the Start

For the uninitiated anus, penile penetration is painful at the start of intercourse, especially if the penis in question is large. 

Pleasurable with Preparation

I can only speak from experience and say that if I'm prepared properly and feel comfortable and relaxed. The penetration occurs from my partner from a posiltion of love. 

Receiving another man's penis inside me is, for me, the single most kinky, arousing and pleasurable practice I can partake in. 

Plus, the icing on the cake is feeling my guy's thrusting cease and having him pull himself towards me and force his gleaning shaft deep into me as he groans and announces that he is cumming. 

It is then that I feel his cock pulsating and soon feel a warm, wet, full feeling inside my rectum. I know at that moment that he is ejaculating inside me, and it feels divine. 

Painless with Lube

When we were in a motel, he frequently got the little bottle of hand lotion and rubbed some around my ass and fingered me back there. During foreplay, he rubbed his penis around me in different places. 

The first time he got his penis inside me, I was on my stomach, and he was rubbing it between my ass cheeks. When he started to ejaculate, he put the tip of it firmly up against my asshole. 

He was wriggling it around and using his semen as a lubricant. He pushed partly inside me. There was no pain at all, and I liked it.


For me, it's an explosion of pleasure and sweet little pain, of releasing the hidden slut in me and of submission. It feels incredible, physically, but for the girl, the psychological factors are extremely relevant. 

Anal sex makes me gape. I get split wide open, and I hang open back there for a while, literally unable to close back up. The maximum I can do is wink my asshole when I try to close it. And I LOVE IT. 

The fact that I'm hanging open back there and that he's seeing me in such a slutty and vulnerable state is SO INCREDIBLY AROUSING. 

Fuller than Vaginal Sex

Anal feels far more filling and intense than vaginal, and I love the feeling. It can build an orgasm quickly for me, just on its own, without needing any clit stimulation, and anal orgasms are the best I’ve ever had. I can feel his cock much more and his spasm and twitch as he cums inside me.

Mentally Fulfilling

I’m very submissive, and the enjoyment I get out of anal sex is mostly mental. I feel like I’m sacrificing myself for his pleasure. 

Why Does Anal Sex Feel So Good?

To answer this question, we’ll have to take a short lesson on human anatomy. 

There are two pudendal nerves in the body; one on the left and the other on the right. Each nerve consists of branches, which pass through different stages of development. 

According to Michael Reitano, resident physician at Roman Health, a New York-based men’s health company, “The first branch becomes the inferior rectal nerve and then the perineal nerve (which supplies sensation to that area between the genitals and the anus), eventually becoming the dorsal nerve of the clitoris in women and the dorsal nerve of the penis in males.”

What role does the dorsal nerve play in anal sex? Reitano says it “supplies sensation to the anal opening, the scrotum in men and the labia in women.”

This nerve is also “responsible for the swelling of the penis and the clitoris and is even responsible for the spasms of ejaculation,” Reitano offers. 

Now that we know why this sex feels so good, let’s figure out how to feel some of that goodness. 

How to Have Anal Sex

You can grasp how to have anal sex in about four ways, depending on your sexual orientation and whether or not you’ll be paired with someone. 

Solo Anal Sex

Masturbation is straightforward and grants you 100% control over the size of the penetrating object, the speed of penetration, and the setting of the act itself. 

The fact that no one but you will be affected by whatever you do doesn’t mean you should throw caution into the wind, though. 

For Males 

If you’re assigned male at birth, check out this (slightly graphic) tutorial on how to have anal sex and cum while at it: 

Lube yourself up and lube the toy, insert it into your anus, turn it on and enjoy the shaft twisting inside you. The tip massages your prostate for 15–20 minutes as you feel an anal orgasm building. 

Look at the precum oozing from your semi-erect penis. Stroke your penis a little. Allow the building sensation to take over, and feel an earth-shattering orgasm as your penis begins to flow with cum. 

At this point, you can masturbate by stroking your penis to another orgasm right after your anal orgasm.  

For Females

The enema hose is hard plastic. Insert it in your lubricated asshole several times as you wash yourself out internally.

Lubricate your asshole really well and loosen it up with your fingers. Then, with something similar to an enema hose nozzle — maybe a thin dildo or even a sex toy designed for massage — massage your clit. 

Take your time, as your asshole needs to get used to being invaded like that.

Digital Anal Sex

Go slow. One digit (finger) at a time. Start touching your partner’s anus while you are making love. Then after some days, start pushing a finger in until this makes them horny and want to orgasm. 

Eventually, you can proceed to insert your fingers in their ass. Always use lube, and gradually increase how many digits make it into their anus, with their consent. 

Penis-in-anus (P-in-a)

P-in-a starts with digital sex. When your partner has adjusted to the feeling of being penetrated through their anus with fingers, other objects, or toys, introduce your penis. 

Before progressing to this level, check in with your partner to ensure they’re enthusiastic about and comfortable with the idea. 


Pegging is a sexual activity during which one person wears a strap-on dildo and uses it to penetrate the other person’s asshole. 

Many active adults enjoy pegging because it lets the usually submissive person dominate their partner. And in case you didn’t get the memo, that’s sexy. 

Then she told me to lift my legs on her shoulders, and I saw her rubbing her dildo on and in her pussy, getting it all wet. Karen moved the crotch of my panties aside and started stroking me. 

When I was good and hard, she slipped her dildo into my ass nice and slow. I thought it would rip me open. She reached over and grabbed a bottle of warming gel lube and squeezed a bunch on her dildo and my asshole. 

Is Anal Sex Safe?

Anal sex is safe when you exercise the necessary precautions, including the following: 

Test Yourself and Your Partner for HIV

All parties involved in the act should be HIV-negative. If one person has HIV and the other doesn’t, there is a real risk that the person with HIV can transmit it to the other.

This is because intense anal sex can cause tiny tears in the anal tissue, which serve as media for blood and other fluids of participants to interact. 

Use Condoms

If you’re not using a condom during anal sex, you’re opening yourself up to a whole host of risks.

First, anal sex has been associated with an increased risk of contracting STIs, including gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV).

Bacteria that cause these infections can pass from one person to another through the mucous membranes in the rectum, which may be damaged by unprotected anal sex.

But even if you don’t have an STI, unprotected anal sex can lead to pregnancy if semen enters the vagina (which is possible even with a condom). 

Remember to change your condoms between rounds, especially if switching from anal to vaginal sex. 

Use Plenty of Lube

If you don’t have access to a standard personal lubricant, you can apply hand lotion, water, or coconut oil instead. However, these substitutes don’t last as long as lube during anal sex and may have long-term disadvantages. 

Also, muscles need enough time to relax to have anal sex comfortably and safely. So don’t rush into things if it feels wrong or you’re in pain.

Speaking of pain, your vagina may hurt after sex if your partner is a little too rough. Likewise, deep penetration can make your stomach hurt after sex

Can You Have Anal Sex While Pregnant?

We can’t give an absolute “yes” or “no.” Whether your doctor gives you the green light to have anal sex while pregnant depends on your circumstances. 

For example, if the placenta lies too low in the womb, anal sex may cause it to bleed heavily. In addition, if you have hemorrhoids (swollen blood vessels in the anus or lower rectum, this type of sex may be painful. 


While the science of anal sex is objective, the act itself is pretty subjective. Different people may get different results when they practice for the first time. 

Please don’t underestimate the importance of speaking with your healthcare provider before trying, even if you’re not pregnant. This article is intended to inform, not offer or replace medical advice.