There’s no universal right age to have sex. But you’re looking for outside opinions on the question, “What age should you have sex?” So we’ve curated the most real answers from real people on Quora. Choose your truth.
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Scientifically Speaking, It’s 25
The hymen is fully elastic around the age of 17. The clitoris can be sensitive enough to give a girl orgasm from age six but continues to develop until the late teens or even longer.
The male genitals usually can ejaculate around age 14. But mentally, the brain doesn’t finish rewiring until around age 24. So I argue the correct answer to the query, “At what age should you have sex” is around age 25.
Whenever You’re Ready
There is no such thing as the right age. Just the right moment, place and person. By right person, I don’t only mean your sexual partner but mainly you.
Are you truly ready to deal with any consequence (emotional or otherwise) of having sex?
When You’re not Under Pressure
I kept thinking it was fine because I said yes, but I never really thought of the circumstances under which I said yes. It was obvious that I wasn’t sure. I even told my boyfriend I wanted to wait until I turned 16.
Unfortunately, he was so fixated on losing his virginity because he was 18 that he didn’t really consider what I wanted.
Of course, there is also the fact that he was 18, an adult, and I was 15, a minor. Our relationship lasted for about a year. In that year, we had sexual intercourse many times.
I didn’t enthusiastically consent to most of those encounters, but I screwed him anyway. Who wants to be the bummer that says no the whole time?
That resulted in a relationship where sexual intercourse played a big role. Even on dates when I just wanted to have fun and not think about sex, we usually ended up having sex anyway. It was a real buzzkill.
When You Understand Its Consequences
You are old enough to have sex when you:
- Understand its possible physical, emotional, social, legal, and financial consequences;
- Are sufficiently informed about your and your potential partners’ anatomy and physiology, as well as about sexually transmitted infections and contraception options;
- Have access to contraception and enough money to afford it;
- Understand consent and are ready to act on it;
- Are prepared to bear full responsibility if complications arise, like STDs or pregnancies, or traumas.
When You Attain the Age of Consent
Legally speaking, you have to be whatever the age of consent is where you are. And to make things even more complicated, some countries and states have close-in-age exceptions.
These allow you to have sex below the age of consent as long as the age gap between you and your partner isn’t too big. How big it’s allowed to be varies. Each country and each state has different laws about this.
For example, in California, the age of consent is 18, with no close-in-age exceptions. You can’t legally have sex in California until you turn 18.
In Ohio, on the other hand, it’s 16 with a close-in-age exception which allows anyone 13 years or older to have sex as long as their partner hasn’t turned 18 yet.
When You’re Sexually Aware
You can start having sex when you know that kissing is delicious but that having sex with someone will never be the thing that makes them love you.
When you know that sending nude photos is dangerous forever as they may be shared and uploaded to the internet and sometimes used to blackmail you.
Sex is not a manicure but something playful, happy and requiring responsibility.
At What Age Should You Have Sex? Age Vulnerable
Deciding whether to have sex is a highly personal decision that can be influenced by various factors, such as religion, family and personal values, peer influence, and relationship status. It’s important to think about where you stand on the issue.
Although your body is telling you that you may want sex, it may be much longer before you feel comfortable with committing to someone with that level of vulnerability.