If you’re scared of gazing deep into your partner’s eyes and letting them see how much they mean to you, you may not enjoy honing how to do the lotus sex position. Lotus sex is the kind of sex that’s somehow more vulnerable than the act of sex itself.
While doggy sex and reverse riding can even help you check “how to make someone squirt” off your bucket list, lotus sex brings you closer to your partner in ways you didn’t imagine were possible.
So whether you’re shooting for penetration or want to grind down on your sweetheart’s privates until they’re spasming from raw excitement, there’s something in it for you.
In this article, you’ll learn how to do the lotus sex position and tips to make the most of it.
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How to Do the Lotus Sex Position
Have you seen a pretzel? Its shape inspired whoever invented lotus sex. In this sex position, the penetrating partner (PP) sits and crosses one leg over the other, sort of in a pretzel-like fashion. Once they’re settled, the receiving partner (RP) straddles them, with legs wrapped around their torso and arms circling their neck.
The lotus might sound like a lot of work, even for the physically fit. But if you do it right, taking the tips we’ll share below to heart, there’s no level of happiness you can’t achieve with lotus sex.
Tips for Terrific Lotus Sex
Balance Weights
For crying out loud, the PP is bearing some of the RP’s weight. If the one penetrating weighs significantly less than the partner with the vulva, adapting the lotus sex position may result in cramps and destroy the mood.
Instead of crossing their legs over each other, the PP should arrange them so that the sole of one foot meets the sole of the other foot. Then place a pillow in the middle of the rhombus you’ve formed with your legs. So rather than straddling you, your RP sits on the pillow and gets busy with your body.
It’s not All about Orgasming
We’re not forbidding anyone from chasing the big O, but there’s more to this sex position than a few minutes of blinding pleasure. Since you’re face to face with your partner, you can plant as many wet divine kisses as you want on any part of their body.
You can thumb their lower back, striking their chords like a sensational pianist, toying with the few tendrils of hair that your nimble fingers can reach. You can fist and twirl bits of pubic hair (if they don’t shave completely and you love hair games) and create an artwork of someone horny for just you.
If all that seems too much, just wrapping your arms around each other, your bodies pressed so close that not even a feather can pass through, is enough to make you tingle.
During this type of sex, participants should let their souls take over. Even if neither cums from lotus sex, it accumulates sufficient sexual tension to help them orgasm quickly once they switch to a different sex position.
Anyone Can Learn How to Do the Lotus Sex Position
We know we mentioned “penetrating” and “receiving” partners in the introductory section of this article. However, couples who fall into either category and not both (that is, gay and lesbian lovers) can also practice lotus sex and have loads of fun.
If you and your same-gender partner love masturbating together, entering this position gives more room for the contact between you. It also allows you to explore each other’s bodies while tending to yourselves.
Make Eye Contact … Lots of It
The reason some people avoid going all out on the lotus is that eye contact isn’t their favorite pastime. Especially not during sex. However, as those brave enough to embark on this adventure have testified, staring into your partner’s eyes almost throughout sex is a precious favor that nothing else can replace.
In addition, maintaining solid eye contact helps you read and respond to their reactions to your actions. You can tell when they’re close, whether they want you to slow down or speed things up, without them saying a word.
If you’re the type whose mind frequently wanders to other things while having sex, keeping your eyes on your partner reminds you of what you should focus on — them.
More Grinding, Less Thrusting
Unless you’re the James Bond of sex, plunging in and out of your lover’s coochie while your legs are pretty much restrained saps your energy fast.
The secret to relishing lotus sex is making up-and-down movements (known as grinding) with your penis or dildo rather than adopting a back-and-forth motion (aka thrusting).
Grinding lends you the chance to locate your partner’s G-spot sooner, as this technique angles the penetrating object upwards, that is, in a slightly vertical manner.
When you’ve found her sweet spot, let her feel the fullness of the penis or sex toy, but don’t resume hammering immediately. Give that spot your undivided attention, slowing down the pace of your motions while holding her close.
This is the time to whisper whatever dirty or sweet phrases you’ve saved for this moment. But if the pure ecstasy of lotus sex has overwhelmed your memory, don’t feel bad. There are plenty of ways to make up for talking, like gasping, moaning, or making extra love to the nipples.
Please Use Lube
Do you know why we added “please” to this heading? Because when the Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion carried out a study on the significance of lube in climaxing, it was found that almost 50% of women and men claim that using lube makes it easier to orgasm.
While orgasm may not be your end goal, you sure want as little friction as possible while trying out the lotus sex position. But your woman’s vaginal transudate, aka arousal fluid or cum, may not be adequate for making everywhere wet and juicy.
In this case, why not try some lube? Any part of your partner’s body that’ll enjoy rubbing or kneading of any sort deserves to be lubricated, from the anus to the tip of the penis.
You can also rub lube over areas that are major recipients of sucking, like the breasts. However, ensure it’s safe to ingest and won’t cause medical complications.
Drape Your Legs over Your Partner’s Shoulder
Yes, RP, we’re talking to you. If wrapping your legs around your partner’s torso is too restrictive, attempt draping those legs over their shoulders and leaning backward.
This alteration to the lotus sex position gives the PP room to penetrate the vagina or the anus. Besides, it affords them the freedom to roam their eyes all over your body.
Are you into sex toys and handle double penetration well? Insert a toy like this rabbit-shaped one into either hole while your PP caters to the other one.
Keep an Open Mind
Keeping your mind open doesn’t mean walking into lotus sex without anticipating the thrill of intimacy. Prepare yourself for anything that could happen while trying to make love in the most sensual way, including non-cooperation.
If your partner believes that lotus isn’t working for them, please don’t force them to see it through to feed your ego. Reassure them that you understand where they stand, but don’t let their refusal affect how you feel about them.
Your S.O. loves you, and a lotus sex misfire isn’t enough to change that.